a smile on your face

  A long time ago I wrote this

2009\6\21

how much dose it hurts when you hug someone for a long time and realize that he haven't hugged you back!!!

how much dose it hurts when you love and adore someone and then you are shockd by the fact that he was using you !!!

how much dose it hurts when you know that the person you love is talking behind your back because he is too coward to tell you

well i hurts a lot!

after all  what I've done for you ,you simply turn your back denying everything we had ....but  I will tell you something to these kind of people : one day you will be on your knees begging for forgiveness ... one day you will lose ..so leave with a smile on your face beacause this is the last smile you'll ever .you may stole and deceived ,with an ugly face full of proudness  

one day you will wish you haven't .....,smile as you like!

under captivity

can't live like this anymore! I just can't stand it ! I hate the feeling of captivity!

my smartness and creativity are held in ..happens always at the first look.....

patience and sillence is my theory of first look and first impression...

I wanna think and answer the unknown....there is things that aren't clarified that i want to clarify..i want to discover and be discovered...i wanna keep my slef busy to keep away those haunting feelings that kept me undefined

I can choose to speak or be silent ,,IN case of sillence am gonna explode

I look around and see everybody laughing but not feel a happy enviorment

like a bird ,cant live in a cage and at the end dies! so as my brains and good thoughts,,,

IF they just listen I'll solve all there problems

I WANNA WORK MY SELF UP!

at the end i lift my face up and see them watching me ! but they dont want me see them laughing at me

I hear sillence but mouths moving !

put my heart to rest

please baby tell me it's not true,..tell them that they are wrong in every way  possible !!  why aren't you standing up for your self?! 

        ...please prove them wrong

Remember? those precious days on the beach where we used to sit 

and watch the sun sets

 Remember when  you told a stupid  joke and I  pretended to laugh but you caught me faking it !

Remember those happy days and bad ones it was all close to my heart

!Do you remember?then tell them!

   My love I see them staring  at me ,giving me strange looks, but that's ok  because I love you till death ..you are my life and soul,.my good and bad ,. my blessing and grace,.my beauty and piece of art

  WELL today I'm standing up for our love in front of everyone ,. they're telling me bad things about you but i know it's not true...right?

baby please tell me what are you hiding tell me the truth and i promise I will be strong  it's beginning to break my heart

 talk to me and say to all of those hideous  people that you are not dead!!!!   they keep saying that to me but it can't be true..right? 

 I mean you are in front of me am watching you right now it can't be true 

  Baby please talk and put my heart to rest  put an end to this non   

   sense 

you're the only man I trust you are my sense!

and I will continue on loving you and believing this till the day I  die and I  will fight for our love till the day i breath my last breath

!because we promised each other that we would die together !

holding each other

silent J

tear on a cheek

I woke up from my sleep and a tear was on my cheek...

so scared wishing it wasn't just a dream ....

I look at the mirror and see my face..swollen from crying...

I dreamt about him again!...

for my dreams satisfies my wish..,my broken heart by seeing him and holding him so hard that i dont want to let go ....

but it makes me miss him more and more ....

and for that my wound is still opened....

I didnt even imagine that he was so close and dear to my heart , I figured that I will see him later I fooled my self and tricked it to forget the fact that later is a long time lasting for mounths and years

I still remember the last time I saw him ..untill this day I rigret the way i said goodbye

 

am dying to see you infront of me!

untill the day i die I'll love you ..untill that day we meet I'm going to keep dreaming of seeing you even that it hurts ...I am going to keep writing to you ink from blood,.....

 

 

this one go's out to that special person who is related  in blood ,came from the same womb

didnt know that it will effect me that much ,,brotherhood counts! !and its the greatist love !